A Real Life Evil Step Mother

I wrote this as a speech for my freshman year English final. I eventually want to rewrite it to reflect how I feel about the situation currently. However, it's a big part of my life and I want to share what I thought about it two years ago.

When people ask me if I'm an only child, I usually answer yes without thinking. But, I actually have two brothers, Tommy and Sam. Sometimes I momentarily forget that my brothers exist. Mostly, I deny the fact that I have siblings simply because it's easier than explaining why people may never meet them and why they might not remember me as they grow older. I also ignore the existence of my dad for these same reasons. You may think this is the all too common “my dad left me as a child” story. But actually, it's my evil stepmother who got in the way.

When I was four years old, my mom and dad got divorced. We lived in Maine at the time, but a while after the divorce we moved to Massachusetts and my dad stayed in Maine. When I was five, my dad began dating someone new. I would drive to visit him every few weeks. Every time I saw his girlfriend, she was very nice. For years, everything was normal. Eventually, she began to hate my mother. She would call her on the phone and say terrible things to her.

After my oldest brother was born, she started treating me weird, but not necessarily bad. She would do things like hiding the tv remote or say small things about my mother to me. She would also be very competitive with my dad when it came to my brother; my dad bought him an electric toy car, and she bought him a real car. The small things she did progressively get worse. She'd tell my dad I said bad things about her when I didn't, and would freak out over very small things.

In the fall of 2011, my oldest brother and I decided to play outside in the fallen leaves all day. There were certain points during the day where my dad, his girlfriend, my brother, and I were outside. Occasionally, my dad’s girlfriend would go inside by herself for a few minutes. Once it started to get dark out we all went inside, but my dad’s girlfriend left to go to a funeral. She was acting strangely; we assumed the funeral was upsetting her. After she left and my brother went to bed, I went to my room to get my DSi. It didn't work when I tried to turn it on, so I began to charge it. This also didn't work. I went to my dad to ask what was wrong and he told me that it looked like the inside had gotten wet. My DSi was in a bag with my laptop, so I checked my laptop for water too. It was definitely wet. My dad tried to do as much as he could while I sobbed in my room. I know life isn't about material things, but I was ten and this was $800 worth of stuff. My dad never got either of the devices to work.

My dad asked me if it were possible that I had accidentally spilled water in my bag. I told him that I had been outside all day with my brother and didn't even have water in my room. We realized that it must have been his girlfriend. She later admitted to doing it while we were all outside, she also admitted to cutting through all of my shoelaces, which I didn't see until my dad took me home early the next day.

Then, I was faced with one of the hardest decisions of my life. Should I continue to see my brother and my dad and put myself in danger or should I ensure my safety by never going back? I eventually decided not to go back unless she wasn't home.

They're still dating, and since this happened, they've had another child. I've only met him twice. I visit usually once a year instead of every few weeks. Every time I see my oldest brother, I'm afraid he won't remember who I am, because he was so young when I stopped visiting. I know my youngest brother won't remember me either. My dad says she's getting better, but this isn't true. The last time I saw her, she stole my dad’s work car and all of the iPads in the house. I'm still waiting for my dad to realize that she's not going to get better, but I don't think he ever will. This causes many issues on that side of my family.

No one wants me to visit their house, and neither do I. My dad avoids me at all costs now because I won't go to his house. He’ll always make plans with me, and I'll drive four hours to Maine, and he'll cancel. This is what hurt me the most over the past few years. I always felt like he cared about his other kids more than me.

It used to bother me constantly, when I'd see people with their dads, or when my friends would talk about their siblings. It wasn't up until very recently that I partially accepted the fact that I will most likely not be able to have my father and my brothers in my life. I don't think I'll ever not be at least a little upset about it. While writing this speech, I think I realized the biggest reason I deny the existence of a part of my family is because it's easier to forget. There may be times when you are mad at your parents or your siblings. But please give them as much love as possible, because you don't know when your relationship could end.

#family